吉光片羽

侯孝賢：「生命中有許多吉光片羽，無從名之，難以歸類，也不能構成什麼重要意義，但它們就是在我心中縈繞不去。譬如年輕時候我愛敲桿，撞球間裡老放著歌＜Smoke Gets in Your Eyes＞。如今我已近六十歲，這些東西在那裡太久了，變成像是我欠的，必須償還，於是我只有把它們拍出來。 我稱它們是，最好的時光。最好，不是因為最好所以我們眷念不已，而是倒過來，是因為永遠失落了，我們只能用懷念召喚它們，所以才成為最好。」



**
教育部重編國語辭典修訂本
條目: 吉光片羽
注音一式: ㄐ｜ˊ　ㄍㄨㄤ　ㄆ｜ㄢˋ　ㄩˇ
漢語拼音: ｊ　ｕｎ　ｐｉｎ　ｙ　
釋義: 吉光，古代傳說中的神獸。吉光片羽指神獸的一毛。比喻殘餘僅見的文章或書畫等藝術珍品。 明˙王世貞˙三吳楷法十冊：此本乃故人子售余，為直十千，因留置此，比於吉光之片羽耳。

暗喻

充滿暗喻的語句在日常對話總是顯得矯情，除了黃色玩笑話以外。

christmas gift

what can be more wonderful than receiving a postcard from the hometown of santa on christmas eve!!

a dress with alice blue

我和綺拉去看尚保羅高耶提的服裝展
七彩顏色的衣服都可以試穿
我挑了有著愛麗斯藍的衣服



**
the dream i had last night: keira and i went to the fashion collection of jean-paul gaultier's. we were free to try on every outfit. and i picked up a dress with alice blue.

but i still like her

我問丹在德國念音樂的主修是什麼，他慢慢地說出：「大鍵琴」三個字，然後我很興奮地跟他說我最喜歡的tori有用大鍵琴做音樂（事實上我就是從tori知道大鍵琴），沒想到丹也知道tori，這是我所認識第一個知道tori的活生生的外國人耶。丹說他喜歡他早期的作品，我在旁邊非常開心地一直點頭表示認同，說以前的作品真的很棒，不過他也很直接地說:"I don't know what she's doing now"這樣簡潔誠實的感言，加上個很犀利的表情，我苦笑，回答他："I know what you mean. But I still like her."





*harpsichord 大鍵琴
我回家馬上查了單字，現在在聽仍然很棒的pele


**
I asked Dan what his major in music was. He answered "harpsichord", and I was so very excited to tell him that one of my favorite singer song writers Tori Amos used harpsichord in her music. To my surprise, he heard of Tori, and told me he liked her early stuff. I couldn't stop nodding my head and told him her early works were really good. And then, with a harsh look, he said "I don't know what she's doing now." I paused for a second and gave him a smile of understanding.

"I know what you mean. But I still like her," I said.

she came to my exhibition

聽著blonde redhead入睡
卻做了紅頭媽咪的夢
夢裡多莉來看我的展覽
水和獨角獸
他像是很喜歡
說要送我項鍊






i deamed of tori last night
she came to my exhibition
water and unicorn
she kind of liked it
and she said she wanted to give me a necklace

口是心非

在所愛的人面前說著傷人的話；在討厭的人面前說著和善的話。

i'm not your honey pie

i guess i can be your soul mate, but not your honey pie.

"How we could bridge the gap between us"

和莫瑞斯的第一次見面後，我不爭氣地流下大把大把的眼淚，這是我第一次在大家面前哭成這樣傷心，他說我不是一向很tough的嗎，我苦著臉笑了笑，然後兩滴眼淚又滴了下來。

一個星期後，我收到來自伊斯托尼亞的明信片，上頭一顆太陽掛在天空，照滿整片美麗的黃顏色，黑狗和白狗分別站在兩邊，中間隔著一條大裂縫，這是畫家Navitrolla的作品"HOW WE COULD BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN US?"

"How we could bridge the gap between us?"我念著字句，想到和莫瑞斯他們的第三次見面，我做夢夢到我辭職了，這正是收到明信片前一天的事。

我終究硬著頭皮繼續著這份苦差事。

我沒有跟莫瑞斯說過他那天傷透了我的心的事，我也不知道他是不是知道。第二次見面是在兩個星期後，那天的最後我們有個短暫的對答，我和他說了個冷靜的玩笑話，他也回應了我冷靜的玩笑話，然後從我手中接過東西。

我並沒有要求他做什麼改變，他也不見得完全認同我，我們維持著時而冷淡卻又有著某種奇特的默契，那稱不上親密，卻又讓我心安。我們就像是沿著那裂縫，誰也不干涉誰，卻又注意著對方地，各自往前走去。

現在我和他有著自然的互動，我偶爾會跟他聊著天，他也偶爾會在我面前顯露出單純的樣子和笑容，他會主動地幫我著忙，但也會調皮地耍著嘴皮子，而三個月前的那天好像什麼事都沒有發生過一樣。

"How we could bridge the gap between us?" 我現在瞭解，原來就只要沿著那裂縫往前走去。





**
After the meeting with Morris, I cried like a child. This is the first time I cried like this in front of everyone. She said was I not tough enough to handle this. I smiled, and two drops of tear fell on the table.

A week later, I got a postcard from Estonia. On the back of the card is a sun hanging in the sky, shinning the place with beautiful color yellow; a black dog and a white dog stand on both sides, between a giant gap. This is an illustration by Navitrolla called "HOW WE COULD BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN US?"

"How we could bridge the gap between us?"I read and asked myself. I thought of the third time I met Morris and I had a dream. I dreamed that I quit the job, and it's just on the day before I received the postcard.

But I still went on the fucking job.

I never talked to Morris about the day he broke my heart, and I was never sure if he knew he broke my heart that day. We met for the second time two weeks later. At the end of the day we had a short conversation. I told him a not-so-funny joke. He responsed to me my not-so-funny joke, and took the things off my hands.

I didn't ask him to change anything since then and I didn't think he accept me completely either; however, it seemed that there's some kind of relationship bewteen us two. Odd but close. It couldn't be intimacy, but it made me feel at ease. We seemed to, without interfering but caring about each other, walk along the gap.

Now I enjoy the time we being together. Sometimes we have a chat, and sometimes he smiles like a boy as he supposes to be. Sometimes he acts like a good boy, and sometimes he talks to me like a naughty child. What happened three months ago seems to be so far away that it never happened.

"How we could bridge the gap bewteen us?" Now I understand, the way is to walk along the gap. And keep on walking.

"you got a cheshire cat grin"

after listening to the song "jigsaw falling into place" for days, i had a bizarre but lovely dream. i dreamed of someone talking to me "you got a cheshire cat grin" as he said.


Jigsaw Falling Into Place
Radiohead

Just as you take my hand
Just as you write my number down
Just as the drinks arrive
Just as they play your favourite song
As your bad day disappears
No longer wound up like a spring
Before you've had too much
Come back in focus again

The walls are bending shape
You got a cheshire cat grin
All blurring into one
This place is on a mission
Before the night owl
Before the animal noises
Closed circuit cameras
Before you comatose

Before you run away from me
Before you're lost between the notes
The beat goes round and round
The beat goes round and round
I never really got there
I just pretended that I had
Words are blunt instruments
Words are sawn off shotguns

Come on and let it out
Come on and let it out
Come on and let it out
Come on and let it out

Before you run away from me
Before you're lost between the notes
Just as you take the mic
Just as you dance, dance, dance

A jigsaw falling into place
So there is nothing to explain
You eye each other as you pass
She looks back and you look back
Not just once
And not just twice
Wish away your nightmare
Wish away the nightmare
You got the light you can feel it on your back
You got the light you can feel it on your back
Your jigsaw falling into place

告白

告白
2010 中島哲也

其實在觀看的當下，我並不覺得最後空畫面的那句「開玩笑的」是森口老師在反諷少年A不可能重生。

那不見得是原諒，但森口在崩潰了的少年A身旁哭泣後接下來的破涕而笑，我以為森口最後一刻還是決定放了少年A，就如同得知少年A殺了自己女兒是為了博取母親的愛後，森口走路大哭後的那句「白痴」，我以為那是對少年A，森口還存有的母性的心疼，所以我才會覺得森口對少年A在電話裡逼迫少年A崩潰的事實並不是最終的真實。那句「開玩笑的」是接續在笑容之後，反轉了少年A認定的事實。

另外有一點很詭異的是，在立意上很動人，應該會讓人很感動的大爆炸段落，我不知道為什麼卻覺得非常地反高潮。整個片子最棒的還是一開始那幾十分鐘一氣呵成的森口的告白。

要改進

鐵腕阿童木應該是要很tough的!

get out of my garden

我必須非常誠實地承認我有壞心腸的想法，我並不關心他們的情緒，甚至客套的話語也說不出，我只覺得他們是穿著美麗外表戴著美麗笑容的壞蟲，在你的面前翩翩飛舞，說著灑滿密糖的話，轉過頭去，就會脫去外衣，拿掉笑容，不斷地變大變大，長出觸角和巨大的支臂，張著嘴開始數落今天的一切，說得太快的時候，綠色的口沫還會沿著嘴角滴下來。

「這才是你們真實的模樣。」

親愛的你怎麼不在我身邊

企鵝的夢很感人!

A Sparkling Saturday Night

Blonde Redhead
2010, 10, 02
Taipei


「活生生的23和Kazu實在太銷魂!!」

Kazu 把頭髮放下，登恩一響起大家就尖叫跳躍的默契實在令人難以忘懷!
我閉上眼都還可以想見Kazu搖擺甩頭的樣子，非常正點!
我在頭兩句的時候有一點淚
聽了無數次的23活生生在眼前的感覺是很奇特的
這是這一晚屬於大家的私人的獨一無二的23

本來擔心新專輯的歌曲會太多不熟
更擔心會不會是我真心喜愛的樣子
事實上我非常地享受love or prison, my plants are dead和oslo的現場演出
總之不噪不甩髮的Kazu一樣很有魅力
回來後oslo成了每天的晚安曲

Falling Man和Equus的表演非常地棒
這兩首本來不是特別喜愛
但現場的樣子很好很好
Equus做為最後的歌曲大家跳躍得很開心
allow me to show you the way which i adore you是我最新的口頭禪
kazu最後的小小尖叫整個畫龍點睛
現在想到都還會開心地笑

(We Are a Real Team) Harry and I是我整場最大的驚喜!
這是是我第一次聽到Harry and I
非常非常地正點
我整個深深著迷於kazu在轟轟噪音駝著身子手伸向前方破裂地尖叫的所有樣子
最後一聲賣力地尖叫真的是酷斃了酷斃了
結尾的部分也是令人看得入迷
大家不知道是不是也呆住了很安靜地看著kazu做ending
你說這女子怎麼會這樣地令人風迷吶

我非常地滿意這個晚上的所有一切
Thank you for the sparkling night!



--
Blonde Redhead

Black Guitar
Here Sometimes
Dr. Strange Luv
SW
Love or Prison
My Plants are Dead
Oslo
Falling Man
23
Spring By Summer Fall
-
Not Getting There
(We Are A Real Team) Harry and I
Penny Sparkle
-
Melody of Certain Three
Equus

多謝陳雷先生的開示

多心召妖魔，歡喜就好!

耳朵小說

我在想這個地方就是我的巴斯特耳朵。

october the second

i'm going to meet my tainted love!

23

i'm thinking about the song and the person again.

造句練習

The tongue-tied lover shows his love with a loveless tongue twister.

英國人丹尼爾

英國人丹尼爾身高大概一米七五，淡金色短髮，二十來歲，喜歡 穿著淺色牛仔褲、踢恤和球鞋，眼珠子什麼顏色我倒想不起來了 。雖然柯先生曾經用「膚淺」(shallow) 這個字詞形容英國人丹尼爾，但他也不否認丹尼爾有著好看的外貌。

那時對工作厭倦，整天想到大不列顛遊玩的我，曾短暫地對丹尼 爾投入浪漫想像，畢竟他是我遇到的第一個英國人吶！而他又有 著我對英國人的刻板印象：接近過份的冷淡和靜定，卻又會說冷 冷的笑話。我還記得認識他的第一天，他冷靜地開了個關於「錢 」的玩笑話，我抬頭，笑了出來。

丹尼爾因為工作需要必須兩地跑的關係，我一個星期只見到他兩 天，但不見得有交談，即便有交談，也只是聊著天氣阿工作阿之 類粗淺的話題，我甚至忘了有沒有問過他是英國哪裡人，總覺得 他是從北部更冷的地方來的。那幾個月的時間，我和丹尼爾就是 維持這樣的相處模式，沒有過多的熱情，可是我還是會期待和他 的對談和偶爾的玩笑話。

記得那年的飯局，遲到的丹尼爾坐來我旁邊座位，吃飯間，我問 了他：「我很驚訝你會使用筷子？」，他回答我：「喔，我曾經 在上海工作過兩年。」然後我們繼續用餐，這是整個飯局我和他 唯一的對話。後來丹尼爾和尼克有事提早離開，我同其他同事和 他們點頭致意，搖了搖手上的酒杯，喝了口紅酒，喔，對那天我 還知道了丹尼爾不喜歡喝紅酒，倒是喝了一大杯的啤酒。

在那之後沒多久，丹尼爾就離職了。聽隔壁的同事講，好像是因 為學歷出了問題，回英國了。知道的當下，其實沒有什麼特別的 感覺，來來去去，如此而已。我只是偶爾會想念丹尼爾操著英國 腔調說著「頭髮」發音的樣子。

幾天前回家過馬路時，一個男子騎著腳踏車經過，我轉頭看著他 一路騎到轉角，那臉型和打扮相當眼熟，我想起回英國前丹尼爾 賣掉了他的跑車，更加確定了這個人應該是久違了的英國人丹尼爾沒錯。

約會

女孩沒有在約定的日子出現。

我打了電話，傳了簡訊，完全沒有回應。從約定的 日期到現在已經兩個禮拜過去了，如果有什麼事情 不能前來的話，也應該寫個訊息給我吧，對於女孩 這樣任性的消失不見，我感到有點生氣。

女孩向來保持著良好的遲到習慣，她總是不在標記 的日子準時出現。上一次他在約會日子晚了五天的 星期天下午，從法國打了越洋電話給我。「嘿，我 人現在在不列塔尼，這真是個比巴黎迷人的地方！ 我們約會的日子是哪一天？」再上一次的約會，她 從某個不知名的小鎮打來。「我想我真的愛上西班 牙人了！」她語氣興奮地說，我瞄了床頭的時鐘凌 晨三點半。更早之前的某個上班日，我趁老闆不注 意時看了她傳來的簡訊。「我在菲律賓看到一整片 粉紅色的百合花咧！真想偷偷摘一朵給你！」我按 出簡訊，然後抬頭跟老闆剛好對上一個眼。

我知道女孩一定會遲到，但這是第一次像這樣一點 消息都沒有。

第一個星期過後我開始緊張起來，每天起床第一件 事，就是跑到客廳看看女孩是不是睡倒在沙發，然 後開女孩的房間門，幫她把窗邊的小盆栽澆上水， 關上門的時候，順便在掛在門邊的披頭四月曆劃上 一個ｘ。

而當我劃滿了一整排的ｘ，還幫約翰藍儂加上黑眼 圈，女孩還是沒回來。

再接下來的星期，我不再打電話，也不再傳訊息， 我甚至連生悶氣都沒有興致。我把女孩房裡的盆栽 搬到自己的房間照顧，把我房裡的仙人掌換了過去 ，披頭四月曆上的保羅麥卡尼長了長到下巴的鬢角 ，林哥史塔戴了老花眼鏡，喬治哈里遜穿了件黑色 的吊嘎，藍儂兄八字鬍都長出來了咧。

然後就在考慮著應該替保羅兄戴頂高禮帽，還是替 林哥大哥送上顆蘋果的星期四的中午，打檔機車的 引擎聲在門口停了下來，我開門，郵差先生遞上了 張明信片，我看到上頭正在享受日光浴的海灘女郎 笑了出來，看來女孩早我一步先去海邊渡假了！我 翻了明信片，開始讀起女孩寫來的訊息。

喔，對了，可別忘了把塗鴉本掛回房間！






* 明信片是荷蘭女孩寄來的，她說她期待夏天到來 。

雷根士堡

雷根士堡

我一個人走在雷根士堡的河岸邊，旁邊的多瑙河 在陽光的照射下透著光，天剛亮時的河流真的就 像人們所說的是藍色的。

走在德國最古老的石橋上很清楚就可以看到雙尖塔(the Dom) 。雙尖塔教堂說是巴伐利亞哥德建築的代表，但 並列在其他純樸羅馬房屋中，雙塔的造形其實突 兀，鐵灰的色調又顯得陰森，總是讓我覺得格格 不入。教堂的內部不同於外表的冷酷，如同其他 歐洲的大教堂，窗子上一樣有很美麗的玻璃馬賽 克。教堂的外圍種有一排美麗的紅色小花朵，跟 教堂灰色的外牆有很大的對比，我曾經尋問穿著 碎花裙經過的德國婦人花朵的名稱，婦人回應我 一個三音節的德語單字，可惜我回到住宿地方就 忘了花的名字。這幾天穿梭在鎮上的時候，我常 刻意經過教堂看這一排花，這總是讓我覺得安心 愉快，至於雙塔，我倒是再也沒進去過。

雙尖塔教堂旁不遠處，有相當有名的德國香腸店 。名為Salzstadel的香腸店據說年紀和石橋一樣 年老，從十二世紀就在雷根士堡了。星期日下午 參觀完古羅馬市議會所在地後，我來到這裡買德 國香腸，店裡的德國婦人一手夾子夾著香腸，一 手接過零錢，一面轉頭向其他人吆喝，他們忙碌 的樣子我看得相當有趣。吃完乾癟但酥脆入口的 德國香腸準備離開時，幾個穿著西裝筆挺的德國 老先生帶著穿著花裙的婦人女伴，在外頭搭的白 色桌椅坐了下來，或許這是他們聚會後的續攤子 吧！

在這裡的最後一天，我把雷根士堡再次走過一遍 ，往車站前去，準備搭乘前往慕尼黑的火車，離 開這個德國古老的城鎮。





* 以上的遊記全是編造的，旅行的是明信片，不 是我。

空気人形

空気人形
是枝裕和
2009

我得說裴斗娜在裡頭真是正翻了！白晢的長腿踩著小碎步走路的樣子真 是可愛極了！

純一在出租店幫洩了氣的小望吹氣，看到掀起衣服露出肚子上的塑膠打 氣孔我笑了出來，吹氣的這一幕可以算是我看過的電影裡很詭異又很有 趣的一幕。

小望在純一肚子貼膠帶，我一開始還以為為什麼要貼紅色膠帶，不懂為 什麼和小望親吻的純一的表情很怪異，最後看到純一抱著小望沾著血的 手才知道怎麼一回事，我受到蠻大的驚嚇。

至於片中某些過於明顯及刻板的省思橋段，配角和老阿伯的詩句，我一 點也不喜歡。

森林小說

數個失眠的晚上，終於把小說讀完。

相較於容易受到大家喜愛(?)的短髮女孩，我發現自己更在意的是在療養院裡的女孩。發現男孩喜歡上短髮女孩的時候，我替病院女孩感到那麼點不捨，而且好像知道了女孩最後終究會如何地難過了起來。

我困惑的是是不是一定要捨棄某個部分才能心無旁騖地得到幸福。

病院女孩真的是如男孩所說的選擇了死去的戀人嗎？在讀的當下，我以為她選擇的卻是活著的男孩，她知道把自己拖進死亡的世界裡，男孩才能心無旁騖地得到幸福。

後來又覺得，或許病院女孩最終選擇的真的是死去的戀人。她對男孩的情感如同男孩對她的情感正是以女孩死去的戀人做連結；除了那唯一的一次之外，他們兩個並沒有再多的性，而那唯一的一次，也不過是女孩想透過男孩的身體再次和死去的戀人連繫(?)。那和男孩後來與病院大姐的性不完全相同，病院大姐一樣成了男孩和女孩的連結，但那場性看來更像是一場儀式般，男孩完結了與病院女孩的困惑，就像病院女孩燒掉全部的信。

所以接下來男孩才得以在電話亭打了電話給短髮女孩。

少女的逆襲

如果立志做個短暫少女的話，是不是應該就勇敢地接受挑戰？

gamble

我發現有一部分的我還是難以忘懷這樣以少女的熱情和爆烈把心臟捧在手心讓你感受溫度的林檎，哪怕把你撕毀了把自己撕毀了也不在意的林檎。



而我也想知道我那不想妥協不想敷衍不想草率的答案在哪裡。


**
　ギ　　あなたはそっと微笑ってくれるから
　ャ　　明くる朝とうに泣き止んで居るのさ
　ン　　此の小さな轍に「アナタ呼吸ヲシテ居ル」
　ブ　　
　ル　　蝉が喚いて夏の到来を知る　
　　　　其の都度何故か羨んでいるのさ
　　　　此の戦地で尽きたら「何カシテヘノ服従」

　　　　　帰る場所など何処に在りましょう
　　　　　動じ過ぎた
　　　　　もう疲れた
　　　　　愛すべき人は何処に居ましょう
　　　　　都合の良い答えは知っているけど

　　　　中目黒駅のホ－ムに立って居たら
　　　　誰かが急に背を押したんだ　　本当さ

　　　　此の勝負に負けたら「生キテユク資格モ無イ」


　　　　　飼い馴らされた猫の眼で
　　　　　鳴いてみようか
　　　　　やってみようか
　　　　　愛すべき人は何処に居ましょう
　　　　　予定の調和なんて容易だけど

　　　　　声を出せばどなたかみえましょう
　　　　　真実がない
　　　　　もう歩けない
　　　　　灰になれば皆喜びましょう
　　　　　愛していたよ
　　　　　軽率だね


**
　賭　因為你微微的巧笑倩兮
　博　我才能在翌日清晨前早早停止哭泣
　　　在這小小的軌跡上「你在呼吸」

　　　聽蟬聲唧唧而知夏天之到來
　　　每每莫名心羨不已
　　　若在此戰地耗盡了就「找個什麼服從」

　　　＊歸處何在
　　　　擺盪太過
　　　　筋疲力盡
　　　　我愛的人又在哪裡
　　　　雖然我知道敷衍的回答

　　　佇立在中目黑車站的月台
　　　突然有人推了我的背一把　真的

　 　　　要是敗了這場輸贏「還有什麼資格活下去」

　　　　要不要我用貓被馴養後的眼神
　　　　喵一聲看看
　　　　做一次看看啊
　　　　我愛的人在哪裡呢
　　　　雖然調整預定行程輕而易舉

　　　　是不是出了聲就能見到個人
　　　　沒有真實
　　　　再也走不下去
　　　　全都灰飛煙滅是不是就皆大歡喜了
　　　　真的很愛你
　　　　這也太草率了

技窮

說不出客套話的時候，只會一直很僵地笑。

A Trigger Happy Day

那煽動人的力量並不是來自誇張的姿態還是什麼，
而是每一個動作每一個聲音裡的自信帶來的不可思議的魅力。


PLACEBO
3/13
Taipei, Taiwan

For What Its Worth
Ashtray Heart
Battle For The Sun
Soul Mates
Speak In Tongues
Cops
Every You Every Me
Special Needs
Breath Underwater
Julien
The Neverending Why
Devil In The Details
Meds
Song To Say Goodbye
Special K
Bitter End

Bright Lights
Trigger Happy
Infra-Red
Taste In Men

bookmark

凌晨四點鐘被蚊子吵醒，索性翻起小說，看了 幾頁，一根不知道哪時候夾在書頁裡的白頭髮 從書裡掉了出來。

Tori's Ten Favorites Albums

Musikexpress/Sounds magazine (Germany)
April 1998
"Mein Plattenschrank" (My Record Closet)


Tori's ten favorites albums:

Led Zeppelin - Box Set
Marvin Gaye - Greatest Hits
David Bowie - Aladdin Sane
The Beatles - White Album
Janis Joplin - Pearl
Kate Bush - Hounds Of Love
The Cure - Mixed Up
Talk Talk - Spirit Of Eden
The Pretenders – Pretenders
Stevie Wonder - Inner Visions


About Hounds Of Love, Tori says: "I love the second side of this album. I was in Los Angeles when I heard this record for the first time. I was hanging out in the rock chick scene. Thigh-high boots, gigantic amounts of hairspray, and everything. I had encountered nothing but rejection for months, nobody liked my piano stuff. And I was in a band that did something completely different. Then I found this record, and put it on, listened to side one, liked it OK, listened to side two, listened to side two again, and again, and again and again (sings): "You can't hear me, you can't hear what I’m saying, you didn't hear me come in, you won't hear me leaving." This turned me inside out. It changed my life. I decided to leave the man with whom I shared an apartment; I left the man I was living with because of this record."

出自1998四月號德國雜誌Musikexpresss
多莉艾莫絲列出自己的十大最愛專輯

關於凱特布希的〈Hounds Of Love〉，多莉說到：「我喜歡這張 專輯的第二面。第一次聽這張唱片時我人在洛杉磯，那時我還扮 演著搖滾勁妞，穿著高跟長靴，頂著大量髮膠。我到處碰壁，沒 有人喜歡我的鋼琴，我在樂團裡做著完全不同的音樂。然後我發 現了這張唱片，我播放了唱片，聽了第一面，覺得還不錯，聽了 第二面，聽完後再聽了一次，然後再聽了一次，再一次再一次。 （多莉唱了起來：）『你聽不到我；你聽不到我所說的；你沒聽 見我進來了；你不會聽見我離開。』這音樂將我裡裡外外翻滾了 一遍；改變了我的人生。我決定離開當時和我同住公寓的男人； 因為這張唱片，我離開了我住在一起的男人。」

Dew Drop Inn Tourbook 1995

December 7, 1995, Dew Drop Inn Tourbook
written by neil gaiman


It began in darkness; the little girl hesitantly touching the piano-key. She made up a song to sing to the darkness. She sang about the big girls, the pretty ones. She sang all her fear of growing up, all her fear of what she knew she would never be.

When the song was done she lay down, beneath the piano, in the dark.

The piano sang her a lullaby. The black keys and the white keys began to grow, and twine, and blossom, and she was dreaming: and they came into the bare room, all the dream people, crowding and strutting and scuttling and dancing.

There was a woman with a rose in her dark hair, a rose the color of blood. She had a bruise on her check, and her eye make-up was smudged and streaked. She stared at the other people as if she was scared of them; as if any one of them might hurt her again.

There was a hairy-legged man with horns and a tail; he looked like a devil, but when the little girl asked he told her he had been around before ever the devils walked, and he smelled of rain and the forest. The Prophet, his beard dusty with the desert sand, fixed his lipstick, and whispered, "Hey, is that a thunderbolt in your toga, or are you just pleased to see me?" But nobody heard. Wild horses thundered past, their hooves drowning out the noise of the lost lovers, damaged children, wakened babies...

And by then the party was underway, and all the boys were partying, even the boy who were girls, and the World War One flier and the secret agent, all of them grabbing the party food and spilling their drinks and laughing nervously and too loudly. Each of the people had a shadow, and the little sleeping girl found herself staring not at the people but at their shadows, as they danced their flickering shadow party on the floor and on the walls and ceiling, as they caressed and fought and fucked and died in their silent shadow carnival.

A beautiful woman - much too beautiful ever to be a beauty queen, with a tongue split, like a snake's - was carrying a window underneath her arm. Through the window the little girl could see a mirror, and reflected in the mirror was the dark smoke from the mountain. The man with the black-and-white-striped eyes shivered, and began hunting for a door, but none of the guests had remembered to bring a door with them. The virgin began to cry, as her friends strapped her to a chair. They took her gun away from her before they threw the switch, dropped the pill into the water-glass, got her in their sights: four live bullets, one blank; that's the tradition. The American way.

The houngan was feeling up the junkie widow. "I shouldn't be here," she said. "I really shouldn't be here. Maybe I'm not." She pissed herself, then, a thin trickle of vivid yellow urine which ran over his hand and down her stained legs and collected in a pool at her feet.

The floor juddered and trembled. The moon shone through the window, past the volcano, through every mirror in the world.

One by one all the dream-people climbed into their shadows. One by one the shadows crawled beneath the piano, nestled under the little girl. The shadows slept inside her dream.

And when she woke, there was nothing there to show that anything had ever happened at all, only a distant star that twinkled in the window that someone had left propped up against the wall.

She played a song to the star on the piano, one note at a time, while the shadows billowed and swelled and filled the room with darkness, extinguishing the lamps, swallowing the candle-flames one by one, until there was nothing left at all.

Only the dark; and in the darkness, just a twinkle.
--

故事出自Dew Drop Inn Tourbook裡
版權由Neil Gaiman所有
以下是我playboymommy私人的翻譯


一切從黑暗開始。小女孩遲疑地觸碰鋼琴琴鍵，她編了一首歌唱給 這黑暗聽。她唱著關於漂亮大女孩的事，唱著她害怕長大，害怕著 她知道自己不會成為的事。

曲子結束的時候她躺了下來，躺在鋼琴下，躺在黑暗裡。

鋼琴唱了首搖籃曲給她。黑色的琴鍵和白色的琴鍵開始生長，盤繞，開花。她夢到：他們走進空無一人的房間，所有夢裡的人，推擠 ，昂首，疾行，舞動。

有個黑頭髮女人，頭上有朵玫瑰，玫瑰紅得像血。她的臉頰上有傷疤，眼畫得煙燻，她盯著其他人看，像是害怕他們，像是他們之中 有人會再傷害她。

有個腳毛濃密的男人，長著角，還有尾巴；他看起來像是魔鬼，但 是當小女孩問他時，他告訴她早在魔鬼以前他就在了。他有著雨水 和森林的氣味。先知，他的鬍子沾滿沙漠的沙；他塗抹好口紅，輕聲說：「嘿，你們托加衣上的是閃電嗎？還是你們只是想見我？」 但是沒有人聽見他的話。野馬轟隆而過，馬蹄聲淹沒了迷失的情人、毀壞的孩童、醒來的嬰兒的聲音。

然後派對開始，所有的男孩都參加，即使是女孩的男孩也參加，還 有一次大戰的裝訂員和情報員，所有的人抓著食物，飲酒濺得到處 ，緊張又大聲地大笑。每個人都有影子；小女孩發現自己盯著看的 並不是這些人，而是這些人的影子。當他們跳舞，他們搖曳的影子 在地板、在牆壁、在天花板狂歡，在他們自己無聲的影子嘉年華裡 愛撫，爭吵，做愛，死去。

有個美麗的女人，有著分岔的舌頭，像蛇的一樣；她的臂下抱著一 位寡婦。透過窗戶小女孩看得見一面鏡子，鏡子反射山林的黑煙。 有著黑白相間眼珠子的男人打了冷顫，急著要找門，但沒有賓客記 得帶扇門來。少女開始哭泣，她的朋友們把她綁在椅子上，丟掉棍 子前，把她的槍拿走，藥丸投進水杯，瞄準好：四顆實彈，一顆空 彈；這是傳統，美國人的方式。

男巫師正在撫摸那個有毒癮的寡婦。「我不該在這的。」她說。「我真的不該在這。或許我根本沒有在這裡。」她撤了尿，黃色的尿 液流過他的手，她髒污的腿，在她的腳邊聚集一池。

地面震動、搖晃。月光穿透窗子，越過火山，透過世界上的每個鏡子。

一個接著一個，所有的夢人爬進自己的影子；一個接著一個，所有的影子在鋼琴下爬行，偎依在小女孩下。影子在她的夢裡睡去。

當她醒來時，房間裡什麼都沒有，只有一顆遠方的星子映在窗上發亮。

她為這顆星演奏了一首歌，一個音符一個音符彈，影子波濤翻滾，鼓起，整個房間被黑暗佔據，熄滅了燈，吞噬了燭火，一個接著一 個，什麼都沒留下。

只剩下黑暗。而在這黑暗裡，有一點光，閃閃發亮。

Diva Magazine 2004

Diva Magazine
February 2004

以下是我playboymommy私人任性的翻譯
翻譯自2004年二月的Diva Magazine
以下只是訪談節錄
---------------

I ask Tori if her tunes feel very different now?
我問多莉她的歌曲是否有不同於以前的感受？

"I think Playboy Mommy feels very different," she says. "I wrote it when I was in deep sadness, but with Natashya in my life now, I'm in very a different space. When I heard it, what I heard was the amount of love that this woman singing had inside her. My mother told me years ago that you won't love until you become a mother; unselfish love."
「我想"Playboy Mommy" 有很不同的感受。我在極悲傷的狀態下 寫下"Playboy Mommy"， 但現在的我有了娜塔夏亞，處於不同的 時空，每當我聽到這首歌，我聽到的是這個女人唱出的愛；我的 母親曾告訴過我，當了母親之後你才會懂得愛，那是完全無私的 愛。」

And the other songs on the album?
那專輯裡的其他歌曲呢？

"Well, my relationship with all my songs is only my relationship with them. I've come to understand that they have relationships with people, that all my fans have different pictures that they attach to the songs, and that's completely valid. When I perform, I walk into the song like it's architecture, a sonic building, and I have to bring my recent experiences to it to be able to sing it truthfully. So I might be seeing different pictures than when I wrote it, but that's the only way I can do it.”
「我和這些歌曲的關係就只是我個人和他們的關係。我了解到他 們有他們自己和他人的關係；我的歌迷們都有他們自己和這些歌 曲的關係。當我表演時，我走進歌曲，就像是走入音樂的建築物 ，我必須帶著我當時的經驗體悟，如此才能真實地演唱，因此我 可能有了和當時寫下這些歌曲時不同的觀點體悟，但這就是我能 做的。」

---
"The songs come inside me, re-form in me, and I see and sing from their perspective. Is my perspective similar? Sometimes, Sometimes maybe I'm the character that's in shock by this song's character's　behaviour, but I'm there, singing from the other point of view."
「這些歌曲進到我的身體來，重新形塑，我從他們的觀點觀看他 們，演唱他們。那我的觀點是否和他們的觀點相似呢？有時候是 的，但也許有時候我會被歌曲自己的角色的行為嚇到，不過我還 是從他們的觀點演唱。」

---
Any Madonna and Britney-type collaborations planned?
有任何像瑪丹娜和小甜甜布蘭妮那樣合作的計劃嗎？（她們在 2003年MTV 音樂錄影帶頒獎典禮表演上女女親吻，而這個親吻 在2010年的一月剛被獲選十年來最佳接吻榜首。）

"I think - and I'll say this to the Diva readers - the one thing we need to understand is that if you're going to French kiss another woman, it doesn't mean you're going to be an ingenue at 40. If you're 20, it doesn't mean you're going to get wisdom. You're going to get some cute lipgloss on and a yummy feeling inside, but there's a bit of a devouring going on When someone French kisses another woman to try and get something, that isn't passion; it's very interesting to me, an intriguing study. If you're going to French kiss somebody, French kiss a woman that can say, 'Okay, honey; okay sister, come with me and I'll show you a tongue like you've never seen before'. If you're going to walk down that road, do it! A tongue does not touch the intelligence inside another person. you know, Madonna's sTayed around for 20 years, but Britney is not going to get that, and Madonna isn't going to become 20 years younger. I did not see 'I honour you' in that kiss. But that's me; that's what I saw."
「我想要告訴帝娃讀者的是，我們需要了解，如果你要和女人來 個法式熱吻，你不必須是個四十歲女人。如果你才二十歲，也不 表示你就會從這個親吻得到什麼智慧；你得到的只是一些唇膏， 還有可口的嗞味，但是兩個女人親吻試著得到的，應該是更全然 的情感，而不是單純的激情。這對我來說很有趣，是很吸引人的 課題。如果你要和別人來個熱吻，找個會說：『親愛的，沒問題 ，來吧，我會讓你瞧瞧你沒看過的唇舌。』的女人。如果你真想 像瑪丹娜和布蘭妮那麼做，就去做吧！唇舌是觸碰不到人內在的 才智的。瑪丹娜已經在歌壇二十年了，那是布蘭妮做不到的，瑪 丹娜也不會再年輕個二十歲，在那個吻裡，我看不到『我崇拜你 』的意涵在。但這只是個我個人想法，我個人看到的。」

Scarlet's Walk Tourbook 2002

Diary text from Scarlet's Walk 2002 Tourbook Copyright September 2002 by Neil Gaiman.
日記內容出自Scarlet's Walk 2002 Tourbook
版權由尼爾蓋曼(Neil Gaiman)所有



以下是我playboymommy私人任性的翻譯


---
Pages from a Journal found in a shoebox left in a Grayhound Bus somewhere between Tulsa, Oklahoma and Louisville, Kentucky.

日誌在行駛於奧克拉荷馬土耳沙還有肯塔基路易斯維爾之間的灰狗巴士 上，遺留的鞋盒裡找到。



---

Monday 28th

I guess I've been following Scarlet for a long time now. Yesterday I was in Las Vegas. Walking across the parking lot of a casino, I found a postcard. There was a word written on it in crimson lipstick. One word: REMEMBER.

On the other side of the postcard was a highway in Montana.

I don't remember what it is I'm meant to remember. I'm on the road now, driving north.

二十八日，星期一

我已經追尋史卡莉特一陣子了。昨天我人在拉斯維加斯，經過賭場的停車 場時，我發現一張明信片，上頭用深紅色的口紅寫著一個字：記得 (REMEMBER)。

明信片的另一面是蒙大納的公路。

我不記得我應該記得什麼。我現在上路了，往北方走。

---
Tuesday 29th

I'm in Montana, or maybe Nebraska. I'm writing this in a motel. There's a wind gusting outside my room, and I drink black motel coffee, just like I'll drink it tomorrow and the night after that. In a small town diner today I heard someone say her name. "Scarlet's on the road," said the man. He was a traffic cop, and he changed the subject when I got close and listened.

He was talking about a head-on collision. The broken glass glittered on the road like diamonds. He called me "Ma'am," politely.

二十九日，星期二

我人在蒙大納，或者是內布拉斯加。我在汽車旅館裡寫這篇日誌。房間外 一陣風呼嘯而過，我喝著旅館的黑咖啡。今天在鎮上的小餐館我聽到有人 提到史卡莉特。「她在路上。」那個男人說。他是個交通警察。正當我湊 過身要聽仔細時，他改變了話題。

他講到一起正面相撞的車禍，破碎的玻璃散在路上閃閃發亮像鑽石一般。 他很有禮貌地稱我「女士」。

---
Wednesday 30th

"It's not the work that gets to you so bad," said the woman. "It's the way that people stare." She was shivering. It was a cold night and she wasn't dressed for it.

"I'm looking for Scarlet," I told her.

She squeezed my hand with hers, then she touched my cheek, so gently. "Keep looking, hon," she said. "You'll find her when you're ready." Then she sashayed on down the street.

I wasn't in a small town any longer. Maybe I was in Saint Louis. How can you tell if you're in Saint Louis? I looked for some kind of arch. Something linking East and West, but if it was there I missed it.

Later, I crossed a river.

三十日，星期三

「糟糕的不是工作，」那個女人說。「而是人們盯著你看的那副 模樣。」她顫抖著。那是個寒於的夜晚，她穿得不夠多。

「我在找史卡莉特。」我告訴她。

她緊握著我的手，摸了我的臉頰，很溫柔。「親愛的，繼續找下去。」 她說。「當你凖備好的時候，你就會找到她。」然後她走入街道。

我今天不在小城鎮，也許我是在聖路易斯。但是要怎麼知道是不是在聖 路易斯？我尋找著連接東部和西部的拱門，但如果有的話，我也錯過了。

之後，我渡過一條河。

---
Thursday 31st

There were blueberries growing wild by the side of the road. A red thread was caught in the bushes. I'm scared that I'm looking for something that does not exist anymore. Maybe it never did.

I spoke to a woman I used to love today, in a cafe in the desert. She's a waitress there, a long time ago.

"I thought I was your destination," she told me. "Looks like I was just another stop on the line."

I couldn't say anything to make it better. She couldn't hear me. I should have asked if she knew where Scarlet was.

三十日，星期四

路旁開滿了藍莓，樹叢裡發現了紅色的絲線。我害怕我在找已不存在的東 西，又或者它從來不曾存在過。

今天在沙漠的餐館，我和一個我過去愛過的女人說話。很久之前，她是那 裡的服務生。

「我以為我是你的目的地。」她告訴我說。「看來我只是個停靠站。」

我說不出什麼話來讓場面好點。我真該問她是否知道史卡莉特在哪的。

---
Friday 32nd

I DREAMED of Scarlet last night. She was huge and wild, and she was hunting for me. In my dream, I knew what she looked like. When I woke I was in a pick-up truck, parked by the side of the road. There was a man shining a flashlight in the window at me. He called me Sir and asked me for I.D.

I told him who I thought I was and who I was looking for. He just laughed, and walked away, shaking his head. He was humming a song I didn't know. I drove the pickup south, into the morning. Sometimes I fear this is becoming an obsession. She's walking. I'm driving. Why is she always so far ahead of me?

三十二日，星期五

我昨晚夢到史卡莉特。她高大狂野，正在捕獵我。在夢裡，我清楚她的樣 貌。當我醒來時，我人在一輛皮卡車上，車子停在路邊。有個人拿著手電 筒朝向窗子照著我，他叫了我聲先生，然後要求我出示身份。

我告訴他我是誰，還有我在找誰。他笑了笑，走掉了，一邊搖頭，哼著我 不知道的曲子。我開著皮卡，向南行，一路開到白天。有時候我害怕我追 尋史卡莉特變得走火入魔了。她用走的，我開著車，為什麼她還總是遠遠 在我前頭？

---
Saturday 1st

I found a shoebox that I keep things in. In a Jacksonville McDonald's late a quarter pounder with cheese and a chocolate milkshake, and I spread everything I keep in the shoebox out on the table in front of me: the red thread from the blueberry bush; the postcard; a Polaroid photograph I found on some fennel-blown wasteland beside Sunset Boulevard it shoes two girls whispering secretly, their faces blurred; an audio cassette; some golden glitter in a tiny bottle I was given in Washington D.C.; pages I've torn from books and magazines. A casino chip. This journal.

"When you die," says a dark-haired woman at the next table, "they can make you into diamonds now. It's scientific. That's how I want to be remembered. I want to shine."

一日，星期六

我找到個可以放東西的鞋盒。在杰克遜維爾的麥當勞吃大芝士漢堡和巧克 力奶昔，我把鞋盒裡的東西全倒在桌上：藍莓樹叢的紅絲線、明信片、日 落大道旁荒地發現的拍立得相片，上頭兩個女孩交頭耳語，臉龐模糊不清 、一捲卡式錄音帶、閃著金色光彩的小瓶子，那是我在華盛頓特區得到的 、從書本還有雜誌上撕下來的書頁。還有個賭場的籌碼，及這本日誌。

「當你死了。」坐在隔壁桌的深色頭髮女人說。「他們可以把你製成鑽石 。我想這樣被記著，閃閃發亮。」

---
Sunday 2nd
The paths that ghosts follow are written on the land in old words. Ghosts don't take the interstate. They walk. Is that what I'm following, here? Sometimes it seems like I'm looking out through her eyes. Sometimes it feels like she's looking out through mine.

I'm in Wilmington, North Carolina. I write this on an empty beach, while the sunlight glitters on the sea, and I feel so alone.

We make it up as we go along. Don't we?

二日，星期天

鬼魂走在以古語寫成的陸地小徑，不走州際公路。他們行走。那就是我在 追尋的嗎？有時候像是我透過她的眼睛在觀看；有時候又覺得是她透過我 的眼睛在觀看。

我人在威明頓，北卡羅來納。我在空無一人的海灘寫這篇日誌，陽光照著 海水發亮，我感到如此孤獨。

我們前行，捏造一切，不是嗎？

---
Monday 3rd

I was in Baltimore, standing on a sidewalk in the light fall rain, wondering where I was going. I think I saw Scarlet in a car, coming toward me. She was a passenger. I could not see her face, but her hair was red. The woman who drove the car, an elderly pick-up truck, was fat and happy, and her hair was long and black. Her skin was dark.

I slept that night in the house of a man I did not know. When I woke, he said, "She's in Boston."

"Who?"

"The one you're looking for."

I asked how he knew, but he wouldn't talk to me. After a while he asked me to leave, and, soon enough, I did. I want to go home. If I knew where it was, I would. Instead I hit the road.

三日，星期一

我人在巴的摩爾，站在下著秋天小雨的人行道上，想著我要到哪裡？我想 我看見了史卡莉特，坐在車裡，向我駛來。她是個乘客，我看不見她的臉 ，但她的頭髮是紅色的。開著老皮卡的女人胖胖的，蠻開心的，她的頭髮 長，黑色，皮膚黑。

我在陌生男子的屋子裡渡過一晚。當我醒來時，他說：「她在波士頓。」

「誰？」

「你在找的人。」

我問他怎麼知道的，他不告訴我。一會兒後，他要我離開，很快，我就 離開了。我想要回家。如果我知道家在哪裡的話，我就會回家了。於是我 又上路了。

---
Tuesday 4th

Passing Newark at midday, I could see the tip of New York, already smudged dark by dust in the air, now scumbled into night by a thunderstorm. It could have been the end of the world.

I think the world will end in black and white, like an old movie. (Hair as black as coal, sugar, skin as white as snow.) Maybe as long as we have colours we can keep going. (Lips as red as blood, I keep reminding myself.)

I made Boston in the early evening. I find myself looking for her in mirrors and reflections. Some days I remember when the white people came to this land, and when the black people stumbled ashore in chains. I remember when the red people walked to this land, when the land was younger.

I remember when the land was alone.

"How can you sell your mother. That was what the first people said, when asked to sell the land they walked upon."

四日，星期二

中午的時候經過紐華克，我看得到紐約，滿天塵土燻得污黑，雷雨開始， 天黑得像夜，像世界末日。

我想世界結束時將會是黑與白，像是老電影一樣。（頭髮黑得像煤炭，皮 膚白得像雪。）有許只要還有顏色，世界就還不會結束。（嘴唇紅得像血 ，我不斷提醒自己。）

傍晚時我到達波士頓。我在鏡子和反射裡找尋她。我記得白人來到這土地 ；黑人蹣跚而行，帶著鍊銬；印地安人也在這，更早之前。

我還記得誰都還沒來到這塊土地時。

「你怎麼可以賣掉你的母親。」當被要求賣掉腳下這塊土地時，他們這樣 回答。

---
Tuesday 5th

She spoke to me last night. I'm certain it was her. passed a payphone on the street in Metairie, LA. It rang, I picked up the headset.

"Are you okay?" said a voice.

"Who is this?" I asked. "Maybe you have the wrong number."

"Maybe I do," she said. "But are you okay?"

"I don't know," I said.

"Know that you are loved," she said. And I knew that it had to be her. I wanted to tell her that I loved her too, but by then she'd already put down the phone. If it was her. She was only there for a moment. Maybe it was a wrong number, but I don't think so.

I'm so close now. I buy a postcard from a homeless guy on the sidewalk with a blanket of stuff, and I write REMEMBER on it, in lipstick, so now I won't ever forget, but the wind comes up and carries it away, and just for now I guess I'm going to keep on walking.

五日，星期二

我昨晚和她說話。我很確定那是她。經過洛杉磯梅特略街上的付費電話時， 電話響了，我拿起話筒。

「你還好嗎？」聲音這麼說。

「你是誰？」我問。「也許你打錯了。」

「也許。」她說。「但你還好嗎？」

「我不知道。」我說

「你要知道你是被愛著的。」她說。我知道那是她。我想要告訴她我也愛 她，但是她已經掛上電話了。如果那真是她。她只在那停留了一會兒。也 許是打錯了，但是我不這麼想。

現在我和她是如此接近。我向行人道上的流浪漢買了張明信片，用口紅寫 上「記得」(REMEMBER)，這樣一來我就不會忘記，但風吹來把明信片吹走 了，我想我將繼續往前走了。
---

Chijin

2/16
Chijin, Kaohsiung


旗津的海邊有點讓我想到七星潭，即使立刻就會發現兩個地方的樣子其實是相差很多的。

在燈塔那裡看到的整片漁港很是好看，和在渡輪上看到的港很不一樣，右邊的漁港的渡輪剛到岸，觀光遊客成群下船，左下角街道一輛打檔摩托車駛過轉角，這些遊客都與我無關，再過去的輪船正緩慢地移動著，然後天空開始飄點小雨，雨傘一朵朵地開，總覺得這樣的風景可以當作拍寫旗津的電影結尾吶。

不過我更想看到的是有大太陽和藍天白雲的旗津，天氣好的時 候再來一趟吧！

我們當然去吃了有名的海洋冰品，晚上還去夜市吃了牛排，和一大群人擠在一起拼了命似地吃東西，有點荒謬卻又非常熱血。

回程的高鐵上，我發現高雄還蠻得我喜愛的，我想這大概是適宜性的關係吧。




I can still recall the day outside the lighthouse. A ferry was just into port, travelers getting off the shore with hurry. The sky's getting dark, and it started to rain. Umbrellas blossomed one by one, while the sea water was shinning under the sky. It's just like an ending of a movie.

ZAZEN BOYS

一月份的最後一個禮拜是ZB WEEK， 每天都聽完滿滿的ZB然後 上班，星座占星說這個星期是火爆衝突的一週，我爆躁卻有勁 地上班下班，日文單詞和貝斯和鼓和節奏整天在腦袋開花，講 話到一半我差點跟眼前的人說：本能寺でずっと待ってる，我 想像大叫然後捏爆手上的蛋，像YYYs的專輯封面一樣，we could end it，頭三天我覺得自己根本像個巫婆亂發脾氣，但 工作效率異常地好，啪啦啪啦解決手上的工作，回家繼 續聽ZB，聽不懂日文到底在唱什麼鬼，生氣卻又興奮，好想 吃翻譯米糕知道大叔在哀號什麼，總覺得是什麼不入流的挖 苦人的鬼扯吧，然後切開大叔的腦袋看看裡面到底裝了什麼 ，i don't wanna be with you 才怪，我都把一月份的桌布女 郎從edie小姐換成你們ZAZEN BOYS了。



ZAZEN BOYS 4
1. Asobi
2. Honnnoji
3. Weekend
4. Idiot Funk
5. Memories
6. Fureai
7. Taratine
8. The Drifting/I Don’t Wanna Be With You
9. Sabaku

ZAZEN BOYS
ZAZEN BOYS II
ZAZEN BOYS III

Tamshui

10/10


其實我有點失望。

坐在河畔座椅吃霜淇琳擠眉弄眼拍怪照片時，我突然想到那 天行駛在蘇花公路，經過一個彎，陽光照在海水，白花花一 片刺得我眼睛睜不開的一個瞬間。

反倒是回來後讀到的小說裡的碼頭顯得美好許多，女孩竟然 在我們才剛到訪的地方跳舞唱歌，有很微妙的感覺。

搭上回程捷運時，天空才明顯要暗了，河的另一邊的房子幾 盞燈亮了起來，我歪著脖子想要看太陽落下的樣子，車廂就 開始移動了。

希望下次可以等到夕陽。

Brick

Brick
2005

我根本不懂什麼noir film，只是想看Joseph 的電影。冷冽的氛圍和懸疑的開 場看得吸引人，但我完全地承認自己大半的對白聽得霧裡看花，等級太低的我根 本跟不太上對話，跟得上也不見得懂他們在講什麼，直到最後那場戲我都還不懂 布蘭登沒事愛提bull做啥。看完趕快去載了slang list，這真是特別的觀影過 程！

我應該會找時間再看一次，一來想挑戰黑話一堆的對白，二來偵探解謎的過程其 實是很令人好奇的。布蘭登手插外套口袋駝著背走路的樣子，還有講話的嗓音和 節奏，讓我一直想到以前玩的偵探遊戲。布蘭登觀察香菸還有利用鏡子反射光線 找到brick 的橋段真是很有偵探片的趣味！蛇蠍女孩的mother f***er更是巧 妙的雙關語。

Joseph的偵探布蘭登和神祕肌膚的男孩還有戀夏五百的湯姆，完全不是同一種 人類吶。

組織

只要經過咬耳朵的儀式，就可以成為組織的一份子。

New Layout (Version10: A Mad Tea Party)

我一直都很想做個關於愛麗絲的版
這倒不是全為了去年夏天的假派對
可是跟假四月先生的茶派對每次想來還是很奇妙
於是索性做個mad tea party

本來的構想有愛麗絲、下午茶、禮帽先生和三月兔
揉掉幾張白紙後覺得真的畫不出想要的樣子
最後只留了茶桌



'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. 'I don't see any wine,' she remarked.
'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.
--Alice in Wonderland--

My Blueberry Night

My Blurberry Night
王家衛 2008

不知道是不是短時間接連看了幾部王家衛電影的關係，看到藍莓夜時看得膩 了，類似的符號和橋段看得我意興闌珊，而且為什麼這樣的對白放在這些人 口中我會覺得矯情？這印象是來自對美國人的刻板印象，還是透過美國電影 得到的刻板想像？王式的敘事對白從這一群人口中說出來，我莫名地覺得違 和。更確切地來說，如果把美國人換成一群法國人或是德國人，把場景換到 巴黎或是柏林，我是不是就會覺得這樣的矯情是浪漫。

結果看完片子最想念的竟然是瑞秋懷茲和納塔莉波曼的口音，最驚艷的場景 是貓女魔力出現那一幕，還有女賭徒介紹自己名字叫Leslie的時候。

新樓房

我已經很久不讀芭娜娜的書了。大概在大學一年級的時候 ，有一陣子我常讀芭娜娜的書，書裡描寫的面對死去親人 、愛人和朋友的感覺，常常讓我覺得陌生又熟悉。我有時候會讀到流了眼淚，即使那時的我對死亡的印象僅是在更久以前時空裡的模糊片段，久得讓我懷疑那究竟是夢還是 現實，可是我還是一直讀著，那真是神祕又吸引人。倒是在我再次失去親人之後，我都沒有再看過芭娜娜的書，只是偶爾會想起廚房和月影的事而已。

昨天晚上坐在客廳讀了Phoeby小姐借給我的芭娜娜的書， 我很快地把它讀完，讀到最後幾個章節時，媽媽過來坐在我旁邊，看到桌上沾滿鼻水（其實還有淚水）的衛生紙團 ，叮嚀我要多穿點衣服，然後打開電視，專心地看起電視劇。

書裡講到失去母親的女主角得到了很大的禮物，我想到了昏暗的房間和管子、802 的粉紅色窗簾、半山腰的白色陽 光，還有一些其他的破碎的感覺，也許這就是屬於我自己的禮物吧。

前一陣子，我還有幾次夢到我失去的親人，氣色和一開始見到他的樣子好了非常多，現在的他甚至踏著雙腳健康地走著，這才是當初他們告訴我逍遙自在應該有的樣子吧， 我真的覺得很高興。於是我感傷的時間越來越少，但並不是說我就忘了他，看著印有白色扶桑花的絲布時，我還是會想到一些過去的事，可是並不會特別難過，因為我同時會想到現在那個可以自己踏著腳走路的他的樣子吶！

曾經看得清楚的臉和身體現在雖然變得有點模糊，但另外 的臉和身體卻好像慢慢地變得清楚，連同其他的記憶就像是存了起來放在書裡所說的「阿根廷樓房」那樣的地方， 在那樣的地方，沒有一樣東西會不見的，我想像著我的親 人在裡頭走上走下忙碌的樣子。

「改天也帶我去看看你新房子的樓頂吧！」