"How we could bridge the gap between us"

和莫瑞斯的第一次見面後，我不爭氣地流下大把大把的眼淚，這是我第一次在大家面前哭成這樣傷心，他說我不是一向很tough的嗎，我苦著臉笑了笑，然後兩滴眼淚又滴了下來。

一個星期後，我收到來自伊斯托尼亞的明信片，上頭一顆太陽掛在天空，照滿整片美麗的黃顏色，黑狗和白狗分別站在兩邊，中間隔著一條大裂縫，這是畫家Navitrolla的作品"HOW WE COULD BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN US?"

"How we could bridge the gap between us?"我念著字句，想到和莫瑞斯他們的第三次見面，我做夢夢到我辭職了，這正是收到明信片前一天的事。

我終究硬著頭皮繼續著這份苦差事。

我沒有跟莫瑞斯說過他那天傷透了我的心的事，我也不知道他是不是知道。第二次見面是在兩個星期後，那天的最後我們有個短暫的對答，我和他說了個冷靜的玩笑話，他也回應了我冷靜的玩笑話，然後從我手中接過東西。

我並沒有要求他做什麼改變，他也不見得完全認同我，我們維持著時而冷淡卻又有著某種奇特的默契，那稱不上親密，卻又讓我心安。我們就像是沿著那裂縫，誰也不干涉誰，卻又注意著對方地，各自往前走去。

現在我和他有著自然的互動，我偶爾會跟他聊著天，他也偶爾會在我面前顯露出單純的樣子和笑容，他會主動地幫我著忙，但也會調皮地耍著嘴皮子，而三個月前的那天好像什麼事都沒有發生過一樣。

"How we could bridge the gap between us?" 我現在瞭解，原來就只要沿著那裂縫往前走去。





**
After the meeting with Morris, I cried like a child. This is the first time I cried like this in front of everyone. She said was I not tough enough to handle this. I smiled, and two drops of tear fell on the table.

A week later, I got a postcard from Estonia. On the back of the card is a sun hanging in the sky, shinning the place with beautiful color yellow; a black dog and a white dog stand on both sides, between a giant gap. This is an illustration by Navitrolla called "HOW WE COULD BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN US?"

"How we could bridge the gap between us?"I read and asked myself. I thought of the third time I met Morris and I had a dream. I dreamed that I quit the job, and it's just on the day before I received the postcard.

But I still went on the fucking job.

I never talked to Morris about the day he broke my heart, and I was never sure if he knew he broke my heart that day. We met for the second time two weeks later. At the end of the day we had a short conversation. I told him a not-so-funny joke. He responsed to me my not-so-funny joke, and took the things off my hands.

I didn't ask him to change anything since then and I didn't think he accept me completely either; however, it seemed that there's some kind of relationship bewteen us two. Odd but close. It couldn't be intimacy, but it made me feel at ease. We seemed to, without interfering but caring about each other, walk along the gap.

Now I enjoy the time we being together. Sometimes we have a chat, and sometimes he smiles like a boy as he supposes to be. Sometimes he acts like a good boy, and sometimes he talks to me like a naughty child. What happened three months ago seems to be so far away that it never happened.

"How we could bridge the gap bewteen us?" Now I understand, the way is to walk along the gap. And keep on walking.