假期 my vacation

我生病了。

掛上電話，他們出了門，準備享受愉快的假期，我縮回被窩。

整個早上和下午都在昏睡中度過，我想應該沒有感冒，只是流了太多淚，頭痛得厲害。頭痛得厲害卻又沒有辦法好好地睡著，做了幾個夢，甚至看了電影，可是想不起來到底看了什麼電影，做了什麼夢。

他們回來後，我開始想嘔吐，縮著身子躺在床上，身體裡像是有怪物要竄出，壓抑不住怪物的時候，就跑往廁所吐，黃色的黏稠物從口裡吐出來，吐完，沖水，再吐，再沖水，我吐了一口痰，嘴巴盡是酸臭。

第二天他們下樓後，媽媽來看我，我把棉被拉上來點，媽媽問我要不要吃點東西，我搖頭，她把飯菜留在桌上，我掉了滴眼淚。

醒來後我讀起小說，窗簾透不進光，沒有任何聲音，我像是在另一個空間裡一般安靜地讀著小說。小說寫到主角認識的女人死掉了，「非常地、完全地、死著。」他這樣形容。我想到黃色怪物在馬桶裡漩著跳舞的樣子。

那之後，我洗了個很久的澡，把身體每一個地方仔細地搓洗，洗到雙手起皺，被熱水沖得紅腫。

我覺得怪物大概趁著半夜住回我的身體。第三天，我的喉嚨火熱，牠大概在燒著鍋爐。

當大家在吃飯時，我又睡著了，但這次我記得我的夢，我在裡面殺死了一隻大蟑螂。

然後下午我寫起文章，頭還痛著。爸爸叫吃我晚飯時，我一點都不餓，這三天來我吃了兩餐，喝了兩杯熱開水，可是我一點也不覺得餓，我想我的胃大概被怪物吃掉了。

現在我想先去洗個澡，然後我也許會讀小說，想知道誰殺了女人；也許我會再睡著，做個夢，也許我就躺著，什麼事也不做。

然後我可能就會變成怪物了，非常地、完全地，結束我糟糕透了的假期。


**
I was sick.

Hang up the phone. They were ready to go out to enjoy their vacation. I hid myself back in the bed.

I kept on falling asleep and waking up. I thought I didn't get a cold. Just too many tears. A terrible headache. I wished I had had a good sleep, but I didn't. Having several dreams and even a movie on the bed, but I remember nothing at all.

When they came back, I started to feel like vomiting. I lay on the bed like a cat. A monster was running inside my body, wanting to come out. When I couldn't stop it, I ran to the toilet and let it out. Sticky yellow stuff came out of my mouth. Come out. Flush the toilet. Come out again. Flush the toliet again. Just like a robot. Spit. My mouth smelled like shit.

On the second day, they went downstairs again. Mom came to see me. I hid myself a little deeper. She asked me if I was hungry. I shook my head. She left the breakfast on the table. A drop of tear fell down on my face.

After waking up, I started to read a novel. Curtain covered the light outside; no one was speaking. I seemed to be in another space. I was reading. Quietly. A lady died in the novel. "Badly, completely dead," the main character said. I thought of the way the monster danced in the toilet water.

After that, I took a long shower. I scrubbed every part of my body until my fingers were red abd wrinkled.

I guessed the monster sneaked back in me while I was sleeping. On the third day, my throat was like on fire. The monster was probably burning something inside.

While everyone was eating, I fell asleep again. I remembered my dream this time. I killed a large cockroach in my dream.

I started to write this article in the afternoon. Still having the headache. When Dad called me for dinner, I didn't feel hungry at all. For the past three days, I only had two meals and drank two cups of hot water, but I didn't feel hungry at all. Not at all. I guesses my stomache had been eaten up by the monster.

I want to take a bath now. And then, I may continue reading the book, to find out who killed the lady. Or I may get back to my bed, to have another dream. Or maybe I would just lie on my bed, doing nothing.

And then I would become the monster, badly, completely, and end up my fucked-up vacation.