The Hours 時時刻刻

The Hours
2002


因為已經討論完吳爾芙的《Mrs. Dalloway》的緣故吧
這次看配上字幕大螢幕的《The Hours》時
覺得很多話語都變得相當meaningful
而整部電影也掌握住吳爾芙小說的部分精神

比第一次看時能掌握的部分多了很多
雖然在細微情感部分很多時候還是似懂非懂
可是這種似乎了解到什麼的似懂非懂依然讓我哭得很難過
在理查選擇跳樓結束生命的那時候
這種自由的方式怎麼讓我這麼難過啊
覺得好痛心好難過
雖然或許我應該替理查的選擇感到欣慰
但另一方面卻又覺得理查的態度是模稜兩可曖昧不明的
不同於最後也選擇死亡的吳爾芙
那是非常正面的態度，這點是可以肯定的

如果最後沒有將死轉向對生的體悟
那這實在是悲傷的電影了我覺得
但對生的體悟無庸置疑是吳爾芙小說及電影本身最精彩的部分了
是這樣的正面積極的體悟提昇了要傳達的意義
當了解到吳爾芙透過克勞麗莎在小說最後要展現的
不光只是對Septimus的死亡正面的意義
更重要的是克勞麗莎由了解死轉而選擇生
那時候對我來說是相當程度感到震憾的
電影裡把這樣的體悟放在蘿拉和克勞麗莎身上
私以為蘿拉的部分最是動人
在她面對死亡的時候了解到自己卻是沒有死亡的勇敢
但她沒有選擇回去再為虛偽的幸福製造蛋糕
或是因此轉而覺得自己的生命是幸福的
反而是反了我當下的預期選擇離開家庭
回想起蘿拉在臥室門前的內心複雜掙扎的情感表現
實在非常動人
那個面臨死的經驗最後讓她選擇自己想要的生的方式

還有茱麗亞形容回來參加派對的人就像是過去的鬼魂
聽到這句話時我感到一絲莫名的難過
很多的時候，我們越想丟棄的一段過往越是會糾纏著我們
特別是當我們以為我們已經遺忘了那段的過往時
卻發現那段過往其實一直沒有消失
又如鬼魅返回現在時
那往往是難以承受的苦痛和悲傷啊
或許因為自己就是個老是跟過去記憶糾葛不清的人吧
我總是常和述說過去的電影產生共鳴

還有三個女人的表現實在太精彩了
妮可在車站那段把intensed情緒表現得很好
可是最最動人的我覺得是Julianne Moore
她把壓抑狀態下情感的收放、回顧過往情感的波動傳達得非常動人
真覺得奧斯卡才是應該頒給她的啊
茱麗安真的表達得很棒
還有Ed Harris 也很棒

還有我知道自己終究不會是吳爾芙那樣的人
那是需要有多大的勇氣
吳爾芙知道自己為什麼要這麼做
我不為她感到悲傷

還有我喜歡克勞麗莎講的對於幸福的體悟
不是從那一刻之後才開始的
那個當下就是幸福，the moment
很動人

這是電影最後（或許說是最前）吳爾芙的旁白：
Virginia Woolf: Dear Leonard, To look life in the face, always,
to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is. At last
to know it, to love it, for what it is, and then, to put it away.
Leonard, always the years between us, always the years, always
the love, always...the hours...


And this is Virginia's farewell letter to her husband:

Virginia's Farewell Letter to Her Husband:

'Dearest, I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can't go
through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this
time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am
doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the
greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that
anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier
till this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know
that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And
you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't
read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to
you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I
want to say that - everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved
me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the
certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any
longer.

I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.

V.'

Oct. 29凌晨

Mary

感到意外的是〈Mary〉最早是收在〈Crucify〉 英版單曲
該是小地震時期的作品，怎麼聽來非常《Scarlet's Walk》的風格
或許是編曲上有所改變吧
因為歌詞看來還真很小地震時期那種血淋淋暴露的痛
瞧瞧這種直接的對話和剖析：
oh mary, can you hear me?
mary, you're bleeding
mary, don't be afraid
we're just waking up
and i hear help is on the way
這已不是一個四十歲有個好老公和寶貝女兒的女人唱故事的方式了

聽著聽著很自然地把〈Mary〉跟〈Little Earthquake〉做銜接
那種強迫面對很殘酷很直接的刺痛

瑪麗啊，真的不用害怕啦
大家不都是踩著斑斑血跡幾乎快流光全身鮮血走過來的
就讓它流吧，流光烏黑惡臭的那部分
我們都將以自身鮮血洗淨灰暗的過去
和我們自己

然後妳會知曉
讓我們流血的不是我們
真正醜陋的也不見得是我們自己

痛是一定會痛的
可是只有痛過了
才會知道痛過之後是什麼樣的感受

瑪麗加油








**********************************
Ｍary
written by Tori Amos


everybody wants something from you,
everybody want a piece of mary
lush valley all dressed in green
just ripe for the picking

god i want to get you out of here
you can ride in a pink mustang
when i think of what we've done to you
oh, mary, can you hear me?

growing up isn't always fun
they tore your dress and stole your ribbons
they see you cry, they lick their lips
but butterflies don't belong in nets

oh mary, can you hear me?
mary, you're bleeding
mary, don't be afraid
we're just waking up
and i hear help is on the way

mary, can you hear me?
mary, like jimi said
mary, don't be afraid
'cause even the wind...
even the wind cries your name

everybody wants you, sweetheart
everybody got a dream of glory
las vegas got a pin-up girl
they got her armed as they buy and sell her

rivers of milk are running dry
can't you hear the dolphins crying
what'll we do when our babies scream
fill their mouths with some acid rain

oh mary, can you hear me?
mary, you're bleeding
mary, don't be afraid
we're just waking up
and i hear help is on the way

mary, can you hear me?
mary, like jimi said
mary, don't be afraid
'cause even the wind...
even the wind cries your name

na nay nay nay nay, na na na nay nay
na nay nay nay nay, na na na nay nay, ooh ooh
na nay nay nay nay, na na na nay

oh butterflies don't belong in nets

oh mary, can you hear me?
mary, you're bleeding
mary, don't be afraid
we're just waking up
and i hear help is on the way

mary, can you hear me?
mary, like jimi said
mary, don't be afraid
'cause even the wind...
even the wind cries your name
'cause even the wind cries your name
'cause even the wind cries your name
cries your name...
cries your name...
cries your name...

你太好看 - 07 - （只是好看的男子）

如果少了想像
男人只是男人
好看的男子也只是好看的男子

關鍵在只是兩個字

possibility 完全不見了
多變的慾望，堵塞，流不動
何時會乾涸

似乎消失的不只是男子發散的風采
還有發散慾望的我的風采

黯然銷魂的男子現在只是好看的男子